Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
