Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
