Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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