apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
