Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
