It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
40s are totally the cure
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
