Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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