If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
