I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
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