I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
