Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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