we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
