Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
