new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i can't believe i had my finger in that
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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