Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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