yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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