Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
