look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
