I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
