If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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