summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I deserve this hangover.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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