i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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