i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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