I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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