every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
