I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
