I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
