he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Who died my cat blue again?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
