He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Randomize
