Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
