you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
