But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Swine flu is the new snow day.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
