I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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