Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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