There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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