Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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