its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
