Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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