I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
