Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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