I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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