I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
