when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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