So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
