I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Randomize
