Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
