yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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