I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
