I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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