is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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