My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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