halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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