he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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