I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
