her vagina looked like bernie madoff
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
